Professional driver. Closed course, please do not attempt.
This is a disclaimer that really makes me think.
Maybe you’ve seen it on any number of car commercials? Do we
really need this reminder?
My favorite is a truck ad that has a truck climbing this
huge steel cork screw of a structure in the middle of the dessert. And the top
third of this corkscrew has a “fire carwash”. Literally a long tunnel that
looks like a carwash but instead of water, flames bath the truck. I mean this
behemoth has got to be about seventy-five to one hundred feet tall. And when
the truck emerges there is, waiting at the top, is a crane with a fire hose attached
to cool the truck off. As the truck makes its way up, there is a thermometer
showing how hot it really is inside the tunnel, and a voice talking about “how
hot the tranny is”, (I won’t even tell you what I’m thinking about with that
statement).
Now, what I’m thinking is, if you wanted to construct a
one-hundred foot tall steel corkscrew in the middle of the dessert that
leisurely drive through a “fire carwash”, with a waiting crane mounted fire
hose and someone talking about a “hot tranny”…than I say do it. Even if it is
for your own reasons (and I’m sure you have them). Why should fun like this
only be had by professionals?
Other commercials show cars, trucks, three-wheel motor
things cruising down the road-just driving. And there it is… professional
driver. Please do not attempt. Now, correct if I’m wrong, but aren’t they trying
to sell these things that are made to drive? But if you are not a professional
you must purchase said vehicle and park it until you become a “professional
driver”. That doesn’t seem realistic to me. If you purchase the vehicle could
you drive it on a “closed course”? Or, do you still need to be a professional?
How about the one with a plain white truck and a runner? The
runner is billed as “the fastest American marathoner”. As the truck starts
driving the runner approaches a series of gadgets loaded with arrows. The truck
driver has a nervous look on his face because as the runner steps on the
“trigger” arrows start shooting at the truck. Every stride the runner launches
another set of arrows. There must be a thousand arrows flying at this truck.
And when the arrows stop flying, the runner and the truck come to a stop. As
the camera pulls back we can all see that the arrows were strategically set up
to fire these arrows in the pattern of a sneaker. What is the most amazing thing? There is no
disclaimer about professional driver or closed course or do not attempt. So I
guess the thinking here is, if you are “Americas fastest marathoner” than you
can shoot arrows at a truck in the middle of a dessert as long as it is in a
cool pattern of a shoe.
All this really makes me think, what happened to us? Have we
gotten so stupid that we need to be reminded not to do these things? Or,
possibly the true message, do we need more professional drivers?
